Awakened
by Yanastyjackal
Summary: The Force has Awakened - Awakened in her. Rey is forced to become the rebellions new hope as the fight between the dark side and the light grows more chaotic than ever before.
1. Chapter 1 - Origins

Disclaimer – I don't own Star Wars, otherwise I would live in Corgette Ranch/Disneyland

She wasn't sure how long they stood there, just staring at one another. Although she supposed, sometimes the words left unsaid meant more than those spoken aloud. Their eyes met and so much was said in silence.

But it could not last forever.

"This is yours," she said, her throat slightly dry as she pushed the words out, her arm still outstretched clutching the Skywalker legacy. "They need you to come back. You can't leave them behind"

 _You can't leave her behind_.

Luke slowly closed his eyes, silently summoning the lightsabre. "I can't go back, not after what I did. How can they want me back when this is all my fault?"

Rey's eyes tightened in anger, her hands curling into fists, "You need to come back because it is your duty, your responsibility. You accepted that, you knew that was your role. You can't just run away from that."

 _You can't run away from your responsibility._

He said nothing, and her anger grew. Before she saw him, she had hoped their conversation would go much differently. She hoped he would not be this broken man, that he would immediately know who she was and what he needed from him, that he would help her and be there for her. But looking at him, she only saw a shadow.

"Leia needs you. Your sister needs you. Han needed you but its too late, he's gone" she said bitterly, her voice almost breaking at the end. He had meant so much to her but he was taken too quickly from her.

Luke's eyes immediately opened, "Han? He's gone? How?" he muttered quickly, although looking at him she could tell he knew the answer.

"Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. He killed his own father." Rey said, her sadness turning to anger yet again at the thought of the one person she truly hated, her fists shaking in rage that overtook her faster than she thought possible and reverberating on the small cliff they stood on, pebbles trembling on the ground.

Rey closed her eyes in an attempt to calm herself, to find the light inside and escape the darkness. However, she always found it difficult. There was no light without darkness. But she didn't want to end up like Ren, a monster, so tried her best to find the good.

Suddenly she felt cool hands on her forehead, soothing it. As much as it felt good, she shied away, used to the only contact in her life being harsh. She felt calmness spreading throughout her mind, and the world stopped shaking as she found herself once more.

"Thank you," Rey said, begrudgingly, as she moved out from under his hands and stepped out of his reach once more. His hands hung limply by his sides as sorrow crossed his features.

Silence rung once more.

"Help us, Luke Skywalker, you're our only hope against the First Order." She said, her voice calm, her eyes trained on the floor "They will destroy anything that stands in their way. Genocide, Infanticide, countless massacres. Life does not matter to them, and they must be stopped."

She looked again into his eyes "You did it before, you can do it again"

He said nothing, and began to walk away. But before she could become affronted, he gestured for her to follow, and they began a long winding walk down the other side of the cliff.

Rey still had not gotten used to the green of these new worlds. The majority of her life had been spent in a sea of brown sand, and now she was discovering colours she had forgotten existed, that she had known once upon a time.

Luke led them into a small stone hut. It was quite bare, with only a bed in the corner, a small closet she assumed was the bathroom and a cabinet stocked with food. Her eyes were drawn to a lightsabre with a thick covering of dust on mantelpiece of the fireplace.

"What is your name?"

"Rey," her eyes narrowed when he showed no response to this.

"You must tell me what has happened. The force is changing, coming alive in a way I have never seen before and I must know why. You must have felt it too, you are strong with the force." He said, sitting down stiffly onto the bed, leaving the only chair in the corner for her.

"I must say that I am very new to the rebellion. I only joined a week ago" Rey admitted as she sat herself down on the creaky chair and removing her jacket, pointedly ignoring his comment on the force.

"Only a week ago? Why would a new recruit be tasked with finding me? Surely my sister would rather have the job? Although I'm not sure I'd like the reunion as it would probably involve some colourful language."

"Well, as much as your sister did want to find you herself, she said that I should do it because I delivered the map to find you" Rey replied, not mentioning the lightsabre connection.

"How did you find it?" Luke questioned, seemingly troubled. Rey assumed that he hoped he'd never be found.

 _What could drive a man to leaving everything important to him behind? Why would he throw them all away like they were junk?_

"It's kind of a long story, but all in all my friends and I protected a droid with the map from the first order and delivered it to the rebellion." Rey once again avoided the question. She didn't want him to know.

"Yes, but how?" he repeated, sensing her avoidance, his eyes narrowing at her slightly as he leaned forward in earnest.

"I found a droid on my planet of Jakku," she stopped, looking at him, searching for something. He stared back, waiting expectantly.

"Yes, and?" he said, waiting for a response and watching her grow steadily more angry.

"You aren't going to say anything, are you" she said, steadily, the cliff shaking once more. "I was waiting for you. I've always been waiting for you but you never came. You NEVER CAME! I waited every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY! You promised me, you promised me! You dumped me like trash on a trash planet! That was always what you thought of me, wasn't it?! And now you won't even acknowledge who I am!" Her voice had risen to a scream, as she stood up, her head in her hands, sobbing as 10 years' worth of emotions, of notches on the wall burst out of her.

Outside the sea began to get rougher, and she heard birds cawing in panic as the world went as mad.

"I'm so sorry Rey," He hadn't said her name before now, pretending he didn't know it, and it just made her cry harder, "I had to leave you, I'm so sorry! After what he did, he killed all of them! He killed all of the younglings I had in training. He was the oldest, my top student. I saw so much good in him, but I ignored the dark. I should have seen it, seen it growing inside of him. But I was too late. He killed them all, children – infants! You weren't there, you hadn't shown signs of the force. We generally tried to keep you out of the spotlight to keep you safe, only telling you stories of the rebellion, of what we had done."

He broke down, father and daughter mirrors of each other as his head fell into his hands. "It was my fault he went that way. I started his training too late, favoured him too much, and glorified the power of my father. I was also too harsh on him, he wasn't allowed to see his mother, he had to train harder than the others, and criticism was often given. I crippled him. I broke him and he reformed into a monster. A monster of my own creation and he blamed me for it."

"When I walked into that room, and saw their tiny bodies on the floor, that horrible smell permeating the air. Saw him standing over their corpses. I knew what I had done. What I had to do. I had to get you and your mother away. But… But…"

He broke down again, and Rey grew afraid as the force trembled with his emotions "He had gotten her too, the light of my life. He killed her while she slept. She couldn't even defend herself because he knew she'd put up a darn good fight"

Rey began to choke on her own sobs. She hadn't known her mother was gone. All she remembered was her father saying they were going on a trip. She had known something was wrong, but said nothing. Nothing until it was too late and he left her on that planet.

"He used his powers on me then, powers I didn't know that he'd learnt from Snoke I have no doubt. I couldn't stop him from leaving, although I'm not sure what I would have done if I could."

"As soon as I regained my functions I took you to Jakku, where he would never find you. Although under control of the First Order it was vast, and with your early knowledge of technology I knew you would get on well as your grandfather had in a similar circumstance. I never wanted to leave you, but you were in too much danger from him – from me"

"But you never fought for me! You said you'd come back for me and you didn't! A father is supposed to do what is best for their child! Do you think it was best that I have been hungry for 10 years? That I have been beaten? That I cried myself to sleep for years because my family didn't love me, until I covered it up with childish lies that they one day would come back for me? No child should feel how I felt. How I feel. Death would have been better for me. You are no father to me!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face.

She heard the breath come out of him like a punch in the stomach, and the child inside of her who loved her father more than anything in the world wanted to give him a hug and take back her words. But the woman who grew up hard and strong too early stood tall and pushed the feelings back.

"It is not too late. There is still time to stop Ren. I have weakened him, and their fleet has been severely cut, but the resistance cannot do this without you. You are their beacon." She said coldly, her voice rising at the end as she stared at what had once been her beacon of hope now extinguished.

"I will go with you," he replied, and Rey felt a weight be pulled off her shoulder, before crashing down once more at his next words. "But only if I can train you. You have no control. You have more power than I have ever seen, more than myself, more than Ben, more than Anakin Skywalker. But you have not been trained in the force and are therefore a danger to yourself and others."

Rey struggled to keep her anger under control. _Now he wants to be with me, because I am strong with the force? How dare he?! But I can't do that to the people of the rebellion, to Leia, to the billions murdered by the first order. I cannot cost the rebellion a future because of my issues._

"I accept," She said curtly, brushing non-existent dust off her trousers, "We must leave at once, the First Order are regrouping fast and I must check on my friend"

Luke nodded, getting to his feet and turning towards the lightsabre on the mantelpiece. Before she could stop herself she shouted "Why are you getting that one? I brought you your lightsabre!"

"That Lightsabre is no longer mine – it is yours. It took all my power at manipulating the force to make it come to my hand. It clearly belongs to you. I must settle with the sabre of my own creation."

To test his belief, Rey put the tiniest amount of energy and thought into summoning the Skywalker lightsabre, and in a flash it was in her hands again.

They stared at each other once more – back where they started.

Hi! I finally saw TFA after months of waiting, and immediately went on to find some fics, but there are surprisingly few. To fill that hole in my life, I have decided to write a fic instead, so I apologise for bad quality or mistakes etc. I love Star Wars and only want to expand on it because I will be dying until the next film comes out.

Thank You! Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2 - Duality

**Disclaimer – I don't own star wars, otherwise I would live in the millennium Falcon**

 **Note – Thank you for the reviews! They really made me think about her character. I knew I was verging on Mary sue territory, but I will be much more careful now** **J** **The movie does make her seem very powerful, so I will follow this, but I'm going to try and bring out her flaws as Rey is quite a damaged person. I will also be exploring the theories people have come up with because I love them and they are so cool! I will try and remember to give credit where credit is due**

The reunion between Chewie and Luke was heart-warming. Although quite an imposing figure, Chewbacca really was very loving and was still deep in grief over the loss of Han. This meant as soon as he saw look he pulled him into his arms in a massive hug, and didn't let go for several minutes as Luke tried to console him.

By the time they were shooting into space via light speed, Rey felt a wave of tiredness wash over her. Too many emotions often did that to her, it made her feel weak. Having her insides bared and then closed up again. Leaving the control room, she collapsed into the booth in the corner, making sure not to turn on Han's game as Finn had done.

The jump across space would be long. Normally when she was excited for something, the journey there seemed to sluggishly move past whilst the journey back was gone in a flash. It had certainly felt that way when she made her way towards Luke's planet, legs bouncing as the seconds dragged by on the clock on the monitor. However, her journey back past just as slowly, but without the excitement she felt on her first journey.

They would ask questions when they returned, and those questions would have to be answered. Such as how did she convince Luke to come back with her? Why had he gone? **Why weren't they speaking properly?**

Had Leia known? Rey prayed she didn't, because she had come to think of her somewhat as a mother figure, and didn't want their relationship to be ruined by lies. She didn't want to lose 3 parental figures in the space of a week.

Luke and Chewie sat in another corner, 'chatting' 'quietly' in the shadows, Luke's arm around Chewie as they discussed their old friend. Eventually however, Chewie went away to check something, and Luke began to look for something in the clutter that surrounded the main room.

Rey heard him hum in delight, as he pulled out a metal ball from underneath the rubbish. After a couple of minutes of messing with buttons and looking at power packs, he exclaimed in happiness as it rose to be level with his head, appearing to be waiting for instruction.

Luke then pulled a helmet from the wall, and some noise cancellers he had set aside on the floor from the various items in the room. Pressing another button on the ball, he quickly pulled on his headgear and turned on his lightsabre, standing in the defensive position.

5 seconds later, the round ball was shooting stinging blasts at him, but despite being blind in more than one sense, not one blast found its target.

Leaning forward upon her elbows, Rey watched in rapture as Luke blocked every blow. His movement's fluid, aware of everything around him. She observed his muscles, relaxed, his grip upon his sabre light as he lazily moved in a rhythm she could see and yet not follow.

She reasoned he must be using the force, leaving behind all notions of attack and only focusing upon defence. His focus only upon protecting his body, of seeing where he must be despite seeing nothing. He was using the force and it fascinated her.

After several minutes, the ball stopped firing and Luke removed the helmet and noise cancellers, unruffled despite his age and the vigorous exercise he had just undertaken.

She wanted to see what she could do, that much was certain. And yet she was afraid. Everything was shiny and new, her whole life. Everything was different and everyone expected so much of her. Would she deliver? As much as she hated him, and could never condone what he did, a tiny part of her understood the pressure Ben Solo had been under.

She didn't want to disappoint her father. Didn't want to disappoint the legacy he had left despite being separated from it for so long. Despite being separated from him.

Rey stood, and walked to Luke extending her hand. "Can I have a go? I want to see what I can do"

Luke nodded, passing her the helmet, but he kept the noise cancellers. She accepted this without comment, understanding it was too much for her yet, and even increased her worry of failure as she questioned his allowance of the helmet.

Pulling it onto her head, Rey embraced the darkness within. She always liked the dark. When she explored new parts of crashed ships on Jakku, she always cherished moments of pure shadow in the darkened rooms within. It was never truly dark on Jakku otherwise, as the stars were too bright in the night's sky.

"I'm going to turn the blaster on in a moment, but first I need you to close your eyes" she heard Luke say, although it was slightly muffled from the helmet.

"Why? It's completely dark in here!" she replied, rubbing her nose as it was irritated by the helmet.

"The force is a complex entity. It lies in the in-between spaces, in the balance, on the edge. To be one with the force you must feel nothing, to be on the verge of emotions and yet not experiencing them. You must be completely empty, calm. You must have a mind free of all, and to do this it often helps to close your eyes." He responded, and Rey heard him slowly pace around the room.

Rey acquiesced, but a question sprung into her mind, "If that is how the force works then how can there be a dark side? How can you be so full of rage but strong with the force?"

"The Force must find balance, that is certain. But what most don't understand is the duality of 'balance'. To balance the force, there must be an equal duality of light and dark. If the Force exists on the edge of two possibilities, where do we lie? Where do I lie? I exist as the result of my struggles on the light side of the force. I connect to the force through certain feelings. Through certain actions. I use these to find calm so I can gain more control of the force, but not control over it.

"The Dark side is different. It relies on feelings of calmness also. It is the main point of connection to the force for living sentient beings. Those of the Dark side meditate as much as those of the light. But their connection is different. Whilst the light has a partnership with the force, only taking what it gives, the dark side uses anger and hatred, uses actions to pull power from the force. Passion is powerful, and has resulted in the imbalance.

"Like the ability to meditate to reach a state above emotions, we must find a way to reach a state above the light and dark, to reach balance. To right the force. So you see, the dark side works in the same way as the light, they are two sides of the same coin. A duality."

Rey turned this over in her head. There was so much for her to think about. Luke was focusing on duality, but it seemed that polarity was a key part of who he was, of how he understood the world, whether he realised it or not.

For the next several minutes, Luke talked her into a calmed state, until her arms were slack at her sides, her lightsabre barely clutched into her hand. She tried her hardest to prevent tensing up as he revealed he was turning on the blaster.

Rey pulled herself into Luke's defensive position, arms bent at the elbows, hands loosely holding her lightsabre and knees bent in preparation for movement.

She reached into the darkness of her mind. Unsure of what she was looking for but knowing by instinct what it was. She had always trusted her body to do what needed to be done. Once her transporter had shut down in the middle of the desert, and she had to walk for days in the blistering heat. Even after her mind turned off, her body kept moving on autopilot, and she found her way back home. Her fascination with machinery extended to biology, with parts working together to achieve a purpose – life.

Rey strained her ears and heard the blaster power on, and as her mind registered that it had fired, her arms moved quickly blocking the blast.

The victory was sweet, but short lasting, because as she celebrated her block, another blast hit her in the stomach, stinging her slightly.

This continued for some time, with Rey's frustration growing. Every time she did well, blocking a few blasts in a row, she would lose concentration and get blasted several times.

After a while, Luke began to shout instructions. Unfortunately, all these served to do was increase her anger, and Rey began to slash in the air as she blocked, but with more and more blasts getting through.

"Listen and see, can't you feel it?"

"Calm your mind."  
"The force is looking for you, waiting for you. It is up to you to find it"

"Calm your mind."

"Don't think about the blaster"

"Calm your mind."

"You are attacking, but in my opinion the best attack is defence"

"Calm your mind!

Rey's anger grew and grew. Her resentment towards him reaching boiling point as she suddenly growled, ripped the helmet off, and slashed through the blaster, melting it in half. It clattered to the floor and she continued to hack at it. Once it was at a good enough level of mess for her, she sheathed her lightsabre and stormed away, leaving Luke in the smoky room.

Luke stared down at the smoking mess in the middle of the floor. Maz Kanata once told him that you could sometimes see the same eyes in different people. Looking into Rey's eyes as she melted the blaster he remembered eyes from 13 years before. He saw the eyes of his padawan as he slashed a room apart because he could not get something right.

When he looked into Rey's eyes, he saw Kylo Ren.

 **Hey guys, thanks for reading! Sorry I got a bit muddily in the middle there, I was trying to explain the force in my own way but I think it just turned into word vomit, so sorry if it doesn't make any sense** **L** **Please review! If you guys have any more ideas for where this story should go I'll try and include them!**


	3. Chapter 3 - Convergence

**Disclaimer – I don't own star wars**

The rest of the journey to the rebel base passes without incident, with all occupants of the millennium Falcon locked in their respective rooms.

Rey had managed to calm down eventually, although her attempts at meditation turned into an angry nap. Luckily however, she awoke refreshed and repentant. But, the regret she felt did not extend to an apology towards Luke.

A knock and growl from Chewie awakened Rey from her slumber, alerting her to their imminent arrival at the base. After several moments of confusion at being somewhere other than her uncomfortable, sandy bed on Jakku, she regained full awareness. She still wasn't used to being away from it, although she had been waiting to leave it the majority of her life. When she woke up to her interrogation by Kylo Ren, she had a brief – insane – moment of happiness at being away from Jakku, though that feeling was quickly replaced by fear.

Jumping up, she quickly ran to the shower to refresh herself before they arrived. She felt grimy and dirty after her tantrum and emotional explosion. Rey cringed as she quickly washed her body – she was always too rash with her emotions. She couldn't help it. The words she had screamed at him repeated around and around her head. Visions of herself slashing down the blaster flashed before her eyes, and she fought hard not to exclaim in embarrassment.

She was angry with herself for reverting to childhood as soon as she saw her father. There were more important things at stake for both of them. It was no time for her to put herself over the people at the mercy of the First Order.

The First Order had little interest in Jakku, as it had no commodities to take advantage of and a tiny population, so until a week ago Rey had never felt the full impact of its oppression. She had, however, heard stories from travelling traders. Of the First Orders intolerance of difference. Their hatred of non-humanoids. Tales of Genocide. Murder. Massacre.

She could not allow her - relative – trivial problems get in the way. Rey gave herself a mental slap, pulled herself together and resolved to deal with her issues with Luke after the defeated the First Order. She would be strong, as she always had. She had survived 13 years without him, she could do anything. He would be Luke, her trainer and she would follow him obediently.

She understood his motivations, understood why he did what he did. But only in a clinical, removed sense. As the child he left behind she could not yet forgive, and would never forget.

But she would try.

Quickly pulling on her clothes, she hopped out of the door as she pulled on her other boot, her hair in a tight braid so her hair kept out of her face. She rushed down the corridor to the control room just as they pulled out of hyperspace, and she saw the planet loom before them.

"We're here," she said, not turning to Luke to his position on the left of her. "Grab anything you need in the ship, we'll be touching down in about a minute."

Luke nodded, turning around, presumably to return to the main room and grab his things. Rey stepped forward and stood beside Chewie, who – despite her protests – promptly pulled her into a hug.

The landing was slightly bumpy, as Chewie allowed her to practice flying the ship. Despite her knowledge and skills in flying and Mechanics, she still had issues here and there. One of her issues was landing, shown clearly through the number of rebels scrambling away from the landing point as she slammed the famous ship down onto the strip.

Chewie let out a barking laugh, and Rey was glad to see him happy again, even though she uttered a number of jokey protestations.

As they exited the ship, she saw Leia run up to the entrance before stopping abruptly, her eyes trained on that of her estranged brothers.

"You left," she said, softly, her eyes searching his face, exploring features she hadn't seen in many years. Luke saw an echo of Rey in his sister. Their expressions. Both so strong, unwilling to admit they had been hurt, holding back the flood of emotions. Chins held high in confidence, but eyes vulnerable as they rediscovered the face of the man they once knew.

"I left," he responded, his eyes falling to the floor, avoiding her gaze in shame. The sorrow in her features was all his fault.

"We… We never blamed you, you know? We never did. Han never did. We just wanted you back. I wanted my brother back." Her eyes are shining with tear now, and she runs forwards, throwing her arms around Luke's neck. He let out a breath of air, stunned, his arms still at his sides before he slowly put them around her.

They stayed in their embrace for several moments, having a conversation that Rey could not hear. Suddenly, Leia tensed. Pulling herself out of Luke's embrace, she took a step back, her head turning from Rey to Luke and back again, her hand over her mouth.

Shock dissolved to anger, and just like her niece, her hands curled into fists. Unlike Rey – however – she was unable to keep that anger under control, and swung her right fist, smacking her brother right on the eye. Rey saw him close his eyes as she closed her fists, anticipating the punch but accepting it – and felt begrudging respect. Although he probably took it both as punishment for the evolution of Kylo Ren and her abandonment, despite Leia's forgiveness for the former.

"You told me she was **dead.** You told me he killed her!" she whispered, her voice filled with anger "You made me think I lost 2 children that day!"

"I'm sorry – I had to protect her! Both from him and myself! I created Kylo Ren, and I didn't want to do that to her either. I had already hurt enough children for a lifetime"

Leia angrily wiped tears from her face as Rey watched silently "I felt it! When she arrived and I saw her for the first time, I felt that pull in my chest I had felt in my chest when we didn't know. Holding her in my arms again it felt like you were back! How could you?!" she shouted. They were gaining more attention now, as heads turned in the groups of busy rebels working on their ships.

Skywalker drama was never low-key.

A screaming match ensued – mostly one-sided from the general turned Princess and luckily in a private room. Rey watched as her father's face grew older and older as Leia laid down judgement on his actions, to the point where Rey almost felt sorry for him. Luke was beginning to get a black eye.

Eventually Leia calmed down, and embraced her brother again. "I knew we'd find you, I knew you'd come back. You were always a good man, better than most. Despite your mistakes."

Leia turned to Rey and held her hand, turning from Father to Daughter. "We have much to discuss. Reports have come in from inside the First Order. Kylo Ren is fully functional again and unstable. According to our insider, he is being trained by his superior in the final arts of the Sith. Although we do not have much knowledge on them, we know they are very dangerous – Luke, do you have any information on them?"

Rey always appreciated Leia was down to business – she didn't dwell, although she questioned how healthy this was as an approach.

Luke's face pulled into a frown. "During my research across the galaxy on Jedi and Sith culture when I was building the school, I came across a reference to them in the written archives of the Jedi. Even then, not much was known as they had not been used for hundreds of years, but according to legend, they are the darkest powers manifested from the force. They allow the user to have full power over life and death, giving the ability to create and destroy. When I asked Obi-wan in one of my few meditation sessions with him across the plane, he explained to me that the use of these powers were the cause of my Fathers existence. A virgin birth, as a result of the manipulation of the force by Darth Plagueis.

"These powers are supposedly the key to immortality, but are believed to take more than they give. There is a price to these gifts, and the Force likely to be unstable. There is always a price."

"We must neutralise him before he gets too powerful" Leia said, returning to general mode. Rey kept her face straight at the use of the word 'neutralise'. In her opinion, Kylo Ren – Ben Solo – whoever he was, deserved much worse after the death of Han and Finn's coma, but despite Leia's hard shell, she was still a mother, and Ren her child. Rey endeavoured to be understanding despite her boiling hatred.

They walked towards the main hanger in which the meetings and control rooms were held, but as they grew closer, they noticed shouts of alarm and vastly increased their pace.

"What's going on?" Leia cried, ignoring the exclamations of surprise at Luke's appearance.

"It's Ren madam General, he is attacking the planet of Brinaun. It is a covert supporter of our operations but with little resources and weapons." One of the lieutenants replied hurriedly, leading them into the control station.

"It looks like he's trying to send us a message," Leia muttered, quickly running towards the stats screen to assess the state of the planet"

"What kind of attack is it? Aerial or on foot? Bombs? We know they have the resources to do a complete strike of the planet using explosives – it's not like they haven't done it before"

"No bombs ma'am, all soldiers on foot. They aren't looting, just passing through towns and killing all on sight."

Leia let out a long stream of expletives, and threw a pen across the room, whilst Luke's face grew older still.

Regaining control, Leia shouted "I want all sleepers on duty based in Brinaun. I want all surrounding planets with safe havens to attack. We cannot let this attack go unopposed"

"What about the fleet here? Are we going to send any from this system?" Rey said, her brows coming together in concern.

Leia sighed, "I'm afraid not. I cannot risk anymore ships, we've been dealing with heavy losses and I can't afford anymore"

Rey spun around to look at the screen holding the weaponry statistics for Brinaun, scouring it for results before exclaiming in anger "But they have practically nothing! And those bases have pretty much nothing too! We can't leave them to be slaughtered!"

"I'm sorry Rey. We are the only thing standing between The First Order and complete domination. If we gave everything we had into every battle there would be nothing left. Part of war is making choices. Even if they aren't easy. I cannot sacrifice the rebellion for a planet of no real use to us." Leia's expression was hard as she took in the angry one of her niece.

"Surely we could just take a small team, take out the main opponents. If they are only foot soldiers and not expecting much of an attack, and we have our shields up then their firepower won't have much of an impact on our ships. And even if they have blaster cannons, if we use small enough ships we can evade!" Rey argued back, her face becoming red as she thought of what Poe had told her of the village on Jakku he had received the map from, and how it had been carelessly obliterated.

"No. As I said, I cannot risk anyone. As your general I expect you to follow this order." Leia turned around and Rey gathered that the conversation was over.

Rey's tense shoulders dropped in defeat, and, with one last look at her Father and Aunt, she walked away to find Finn.

 **Heya! Thanks For reading! We're going to be moving into some action in the next few chapters and away from the intense emotion. Perhaps we'll even get to see Kylo *wink wink* (AKA Kylo's gonna show up at some point). I would love some constructive criticism if anyone wants to give it, as I love Rey as a character but I'm worried I'm making her way too angsty. I know I'm not writing a masterpiece but I want it to be at least okay with relatable characters (well, as relatable as anyone from a galaxy far far away can be)**

 **Please read and review!**

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	4. Chapter 4 - Flight

**Hey guys, I was just wondering what pairing people wanted. I admit I'm a huge fan of Reylo, but I have never written anything smutty before, let alone incesty, so I'm a bit worried about writing it. I have a storyline in my head, and it could work with or without Reylo, as I intended on focusing on Rey's relationship with Luke and her role in the force. Please tell me what you think and I will respond accordingly.**

Ignoring the stares as she ran through the rebel camp, Rey quickly made her way to the medical centre where Finn was recovering. She felt bad for not asking Leia about his condition, but as the fight had begun almost immediately, there had been no time.

Despite the – very short-lived – promise she had made herself, she had lost her temper again. She had never been like this before. On Jakku, if you didn't keep your temper in check you might not have rations for a week. It had happened to her too many times, and eroded her rations to quarter portions despite her excellent finds whilst scavenging.

Her quick pace eventually became a run as she navigated her way through the medical camp to his bedside, where she found he already had a visitor. It was the pilot, Poe Dameron. She hadn't spoken to him yet, but she had seen him around the base and BB-8 never shut up about him.

"Hi," she said, out of breath from her run. He turned around and gave her a dashing grin, pearly white teeth on show. She wished her teeth were that white, the only reason they weren't yellow was because of the nutrients and chemicals in the rations she ate on Jakku.

"Hey there! You must be Rey, I've heard a lot about you" he said, reaching out a large tanned hand to shake hers. Despite herself, she was nervous to meet him. From what she understood, he was the best pilot in the galaxy.

"Me too," she replied quietly, shaking his hand and walking around Finn's bed to take a seat by his side. He was so still. Though she hadn't known him long, he was always full of energy, fighting for every breath of life he took. It was strange to see him lifeless.

"All good things I hope," he chuckled, joining her in her appraisal of Finn's condition.

"How is he doing?" Rey asked as she tried to keep her voice steady, "Has there been any changes?"

"No, no changes. But the doctors say it's a good sign he's been stable this long. Once they know he's in a safe enough condition they will do surgery on his back and he should be okay to walk again"

"Thank god," she muttered under her breath, and, taking one of Finns hands she pressed a kiss to it. He came back for her when no one else had. When her Father never did. She had yelled on him back on Jakku for taking her hand, but that was because she didn't want anyone to get close, believing that they would eventually leave her. She would never refuse him her hand now, because she trusted him not to let go when she needed him most.

"How did the mission go?" she raised an eyebrow at him "What? Everyone knew where you were going, the question is – did you succeed?"

"I found him," her face turned stony once more, her relief at seeing Finn once again dissipating.

"And? How is he? Is he here? Is he coming back to the Resistance?" Poe barrelled questions at her, eager for answers.

"He is absolutely fine. Better that the rest of us I expect. He's currently with Leia, going over the issue on Brinaun. He is willing to come back to the resistance," she replied, her voice monotonous as she spewed out the facts as quickly as she could.

"That's great! This will do wonders for the resistance! With the poster boy back, recruitment will double! The First Order will find it much harder once they've regrouped. Wait – what issue on Brinaun? It's a peaceful planet, isn't it?" Poe said, concern growing on his features.

"Peaceful and virtually defenceless. The First Order and Kylo Ren are massacring the people and the General refuses to offer more help than that of local bases. She says it is a message from the First Order, but what message will it send if we do nothing?" Rey cried, her face dropping however when she realised how loud she was being.

Poe's face grew angry, " Do you know why they call me the best pilot in the system? Yes I have skills, but it's more than that. It's because I believe I can do something, that I can make a difference. I get given the most risky missions because I try whatever is possible to achieve what needs to be done. With the help of my squad, I have saved thousands of defenceless people from being ruthlessly and pointlessly murdered. But this is only allowed on official missions. So many times I have asked for permission to help planets under siege, but unless the stakes are high enough, I am refused. It drives me mad! How is it different from any other mission? Life is at stake! Just because it is not a vital mission to the resistance does not mean it is not important!" Poe, it appeared, did not care how loud he was in his anger.

"We have to do something!" Rey said, excitement rising in her blood as she leaned over her friends body "We can take the millennium Falcon! It's mine now, and I never said I was properly part of the resistance! We can get there fast and bomb as many squadrons as we can!"

"She won't be happy," Poe said, his voice low in warning but his smile devious as he smirked at her, causing Rey to smile herself.

 _And neither will he._

"Oh well, you can't be happy all the time!" she replied, as they both stood up and took off in a run towards the millennium falcon.

Unfortunately, as they were running across the landing strip, a keen pair of eyes caught their journey. General Leia quickly ran out of the room and onto the strip, yelling for them to stop just as the millennium Falcon flew away.

Her assistant general ran towards her "What shall we do Leia?"

Shaking her head in disbelief, but hiding a smile the aging (former) princess replied "Send the green and yellow squads. We can't afford to let those two get themselves killed. Tell them to get ready for battle."

As they journeyed on the millennium Falcon, Poe and Rey ate whilst they talked. Despite being around more food than she had ever seen on the rebel base, she kept on forgetting to eat. This caused some embarrassment for her when her stomach decided to rumble quite loudly just as she and Poe entered the tranquillity of light speed. He had tried very hard not to laugh, but soon dissolved into it rather loudly.

He spoke of his first meeting with Finn, how different he was to what he thought a Stormtrooper was. Rey had never fully heard the story as Finn had originally lied to her about his origins, so it was interesting to hear.

Though the conversation started off light, it soon dropped to darker topics.

"It's hard for me now, though," Poe said, staring at one of the grimy walls of the falcon "Before I met him, I had this idea of how they all were. It's horrible, but it was easier when the Stormtroopers were all clones. It was almost like they weren't real people. But now… Finn is a person. He is one of the best people I have ever met despite knowing him for such short a time. He saved me when he knew that it would only bring him trouble. He saved me when no one else could. Who knows how many more of them are like him? How can I sleep at night knowing that I may have killed real people with hopes and dreams? With the masks it's almost like they are faceless, but now all I can see is Finn"

Rey thought of her Father, his talk of Duality, of light and dark. Even in space, there was no real darkness, the stars shone, light penetrating the blackness of the vacuum. Light was similar, as without shadows the things that gave life meaning would be indistinguishable. Both were needed. The rebellion and the First Order were not completely light or dark. It was not possible. Perhaps Finn was a star in the endless ocean of black that was the dark side?

Maybe the Force was just shades of grey.

 **Hey guys, hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it was kind of a filler chapter, but the action next time – I promise! As you can see I put on some cover art. My obsession has expanded to fan art. Sorry its not great but it took me so long I eventually decided "Fuck it!" and put it up.**

 **Please read and review! (with your Reylo opinion!)**


	5. Chapter 5 - Resistance

Chapter Five – Resistance

 **Disclaimer – I don't own star wars as I'm poor as fuck**

 **Small trigger warning towards the end, as it is slightly non-con**

Her journey to Brinaun was a lot quicker than the journey to Luke's planet, but despite her earlier nap the multiple journeys were taking their toll on her. As they got closer to their destination, Rey grew more and more anxious. She had beaten Kylo Ren before, but that was when he was injured, unprepared and – she imagined – emotionally vulnerable even though he killed Han himself. It would not be easy to best him again, and she doubted she would even be able to do it.

The way Ren used a lightsabre was interesting, he seemed to switch between styles, shifting between aggressive, almost cocky offense to fearful defence. It was fluid, he was quick to change how he fought despite his arrogance, and she knew that fully healed his extensive training in lightsabre battles and the many forms it took would likely kill her.

He had offered to train her. There she had stood, on the edge of a cliff, on the edge of falling into the deep dark depths of the planet and falling into something darker still – his power. But she had remembered what Maz Kanata had said, to close her eyes and feel the force guide her. She had refused initially, after she had experienced that chilling vision, refused her legacy. Refused the truth that she had been left and no one was coming back. The child inside her took the easiest option and ran away.

But she couldn't run away anymore. She knew that as soon as the lightsabre had flown into her hand, Kylo Ren staring at her in anger and confusion. She had accepted who she was and the role she had to take. She had accepted her responsibility, just as she told Luke he had to accept his.

So Rey let the force guide her, and she stepped away from the edge of that cliff into the light, defeating Kylo for what she hoped wasn't the last time.

She knew they shared a connection, but she did not understand what it was. When Ren was inside her mind, he had spoken of their shared fear. She now wondered if that was true in more ways than one. Did he also fear the connection she felt?

He was her cousin. It made her feel sick to think of it, to know that her cousin killed his father, the man who was the closest thing she had had to a father in many years, even if he was only her uncle.

"We're approaching now, are you ready? I'll go man the machine gun, you fly us to the coordinates on the screen. According to the resistance com, that's where the main attack is taking place." Poe unbuckled his seat belt and ran down the hallway towards the gun, as Rey shook herself out of her thoughts, preparing the falcon to leave light speed.

As soon as they arrived at Brinaun, she could see – even from space – the explosions taking place on the planet's surface.

"Oh my god…" she whispered, thinking of all the deaths that had already taken place. She had only heard of Brinaun from travellers and scavengers on Jakku. The race that inhabited it were small, but very smart, travelling on 6 legs with hoof-like feet. There would be no mercy towards them, they did not speak Basic, and were not humanoid, and therefore did not fit with the First Order's ideal.

She quickly steered them towards the coordinates, noticing Order ships planted on the ground as the Stormtroopers marched in neat formations through the streets, spreading terror as they went.

Sweeping through the city, Poe shot in quick succession, decimating the Stormtrooper force. She felt guilt prickle her – maybe there were Stormtroopers like Finn down there who only pretended to kill. They had taken away their opportunity to make the right choice. But she herself had no choice but to try and save as many innocent lives as she could.

As she steered them towards a large road with a huge number of Stormtroopers, heading towards what she assumed was a government building due to its impressive architecture and small number of Brinaunian guards spread around it in protection, she noticed too late portable laser cannons trained right at the millennium Falcon.

Yanking the controls up, she attempted to pull the ship away from its aim, but the opposite side of the ship was blasted despite her efforts. The force of the blast almost threw her from her chair.

"Poe! Poe! Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine! Swing around and I'll get them back!"

Focusing her concentration she pulled the ship around, flipping over in mid-air and weaving through the shots aimed by cannons and guns alike. Poe released a wave of gunfire, and Rey saw white armour fall to the ground everywhere she looked.

 _Don't think about it. You have no choice._

During the attack on Maz's castle she had shot at Stormtroopers without a second thought. All she could think about was her friends and their safety, but in the back of her mind she questioned her actions. Yes, it was kill or be killed, but did that really make it right? She had grown up in a harsh world, but she had never killed anyone before. Why should she decide who lives and who dies? She had rushed to the opportunity of fighting for Brinaun, but now she was here it was shook her. She was unable to kill Kylo Ren despite her hatred of him, and despite the fact that it would have only taken a second. But she fought through the force, and the force held her arm.

The Falcon took another hit, and alarms began to wail all over the ship.

"Crap!" Rey squeaked in a panic. The engines were failing, the fuel was leaking and soon the falcon would crash. She had enough time to get them somewhere safe but then they would be stranded and open to attack.

"The fuel is leaking! Take the last few shots because we have to get away from here!" she yelled to Poe, and he yelled back in affirmation.

They had killed most of the Stormtroopers, but she was sure there would be more. However, they had killed enough that the government building and the people would be safe for a while. Poe had told her that Leia was sending more pilots after them to help, so she hoped they would arrive in time.

Poe took his last shots, before Rey sped them away to a plain a few miles away from the city. She was just in time too, as during her landing the engine died, causing the ship to land painfully prematurely and for her to bang her head on the control panel.

Poe ran into the control room, and found her rubbing her head. Gently lifting her up, he pulled her into a hug.

"Great flying! We wouldn't have lasted long out there otherwise, we should go flying together properly sometime!"

"If we get the chance," she said grimly, "I'm sure the Order is tracking our movements, and they'll probably be here soon."

"We'll be fine! The resistance will be here soon, and then we can get out of here!" he replied, his charming smile lighting up his handsome face.

"If you say so! Come on, I want to see how bad the damage is."

Rey and Poe made their way outside of the ship, quite slowly though due to the extensive damage. Debris lined the hallway, and the main door would not open until both Rey and Poe pushed all their weight onto it.

Rey felt her heart drop as she surveyed the exterior of the falcon. The very back of it was marred with mangled metal, the satellite blown off and the fuel leaking onto the purple grass. Rey frowned at the effort it took to remember the word 'purple'.

For the next 30 minutes, she and Poe tried to assess the damage and fix what they could. They were going nowhere, and so it was the only option there was. Both were listening keenly for noises of approach, but all they heard was silence.

Suddenly she felt it. A presence. Her head whipped around to scour the surrounding trees that lay on the edges of the clearing. Everything was still. Her heart was beating fast, her hands sweating. Poe noticed her unease, and asked her what was wrong but she could not hear him. All she could focus on was the tree line.

Then she saw it. The angry red, jagged and chaotic hilt of his lightsabre reaching out of the darkness of the trees towards them, towards her. The sun was beginning to set, the sky purple as it darkened with the approach of night.

Rey dropped the tools in her hands and pulled out her lightsabre. The blue illuminated her scared face as her eyes took in her cousins. A jagged line slashed across his face, a gift she had given him. Terror iced her heart, and she forgot her strength, forgot that she had beaten him before. All she felt was the darkness.

She saw Stormtroopers slowly edge out of the shadows from all sides, blasters in hand but none shooting.

"Poe," she whispered "Have you got a weapon?"

"Yes," he replied, his eyes trained on Ren as well, pulling out a blaster from the back of his belt, the click from the safety being removed giving her no comfort. They were outnumbered.

They had been foolish to come here, filled with the belief that what they were doing was right. Perhaps it was 'right' but it wasn't smart. Leia had known that and she hadn't listened to her. Now it was going to get Poe killed.

Ren was getting closer, walking agonisingly slow. She took in his gait; there was no limp or hindrance. He seemed completely healed. Even the scar on his face, which should have looked angry and red, instead looked years old.

"Rey," his voice was deep, menacing, as he took in her face from just a few yards away.

"Ren," she replied, ensuring her voice did not shake. He used to scare her more when he wore his mask, easy to make a monster of. But now that he had abandoned his mask she found him even more terrifying. The man was the monster, not the mask. For it was the man who had ripped his old life to shreds in the most horrific way by killing his own father.

He stepped closer still, causing Poe to raise his blaster against him and shout "Stop!"

Ren paid him no mind, and simply waved his hand, causing Poe to drop to the ground.

Rey's eyes widened in alarm, and she quickly sheathed her lightsabre, and dropping to the ground beside Poe to check the damage.

His heartbeat was slow, and he struggled to draw breath. Rey's hands began to shake with fear, as she took in the gravity of her situation – Poe was dying, and she was alone.

"What did you do to him?!" she shouted, her eyes angry as she cupped Poe's cheek as she had done many times to Finn.

Ren did not answer for a moment "I… attempted to end his life once and for all. Unfortunately that scum still lives. It appears he is slightly force sensitive"

Rey had no opportunity to fully comprehend this information, as suddenly hands grabbed her from behind and pulled her away from Poe.

"Get off me!" Her concentration was shoddy, and anger filled her as she tried to fight off the hands that held her in place. She had dealt with attacks like this many times on Jakku, and so the Stormtroopers quickly lost their grip on her as she flipped forwards suddenly, causing them to drop her, and for her to grab her lightsabre.

She began to fight them, her lightsabre smashing against their white batons, and to her distress she saw Poe being dragged away by more Stormtroopers. She quickly gained the upper hand, and killed both Stormtroopers, frantic to get to Poe as he was pulled out of sight.

The Stormtroopers suddenly moved into a large circle around herself, Ren and the bodies on the ground, preventing her escape as blasters were aimed upon her. She knew better than to try and get to Poe, as she would be dead in a second.

"Leave us," Ren said in a quiet, but commanding voice. The troops turned as one, moving in the same direction through the trees as they had taken Poe.

Rey watched him, breathing heavily as she wiped her nose as it slowly dripped with blood, due to a punch she sustained during her fight with the two Stormtroopers. His eyes searched her from top to bottom, taking in every detail of her. She felt his now familiar presence in her mind, and struggled to keep him out.

"Despite the new clothes, you still look like a dirty scavenger"

Rey was shocked by the venom in his voice. She was also annoyed. Who cared what she looked like?

"Thanks," she replied, her voice filled with sarcasm, and made herself not make a comment about his robes resembling a dress. She would not stoop to his level, no matter how tempting it was.

"I assume you have found Luke Skywalker," she felt a stab at her mind and winced when she felt the answer leave her head. She was not ready for interrogation again. With her emotions all over the place due to the return of Luke, she was in no state for concentration. "Yes, I see it in your mind and it is shrouded in anger. He is not what you thought?"

They circled each other, and Rey forced herself to reply so he wouldn't search for it in her mind and find the secret of her heritage. "Yes, he was reluctant to return, despite the fact that the future of the galaxy is on his shoulders. He is selfish"

This was true, she did feel it. But she was a hypocrite, for her anger was selfish too. He left her, and she cared more about that than the future of the galaxy. For this, she was ashamed.

Ren laughed, the noise disarming but menacing. He grew steadily closer, and Rey hastily moved back. "The resistance places hope in those who will fail them. They placed their hope in Han Solo, and now they return to Luke. But he shall have a similar end, and their hope will be lost."

Rey's anger rose above her fear, and she felt nausea build as she took in her murderous cousin. Unfortunately it seemed this was intentional, as suddenly he came at her, and she had no opportunity to raise her sabre against him, and was knocked to the ground.

Rey struggled against his weight, as he threw both their sabres across the field, pinning her against the hard ground.

"Who are you?" he asked smoothly, as he stared at her face. Refusing to answer, she tried to slap him, but his hand quickly caught her own, and he pinned her hands above her head.

She let out a scream of fear and frustration as she tried to kick him off of her, but he only laughed. He was at least half a foot taller than her, and so her attempts to remove him failed.

"You feel it, don't you?" he said, one hand holding her wrists, whilst the other cupped her cheek. Unlike how she had done it to Poe, he was rough, gripping her face with an intensity that matched him exactly. His fingers gently stroked her face and she clenched her eyes shut.

"Please, get off of me!" she shouted, helpless against him and hating it. She had always been independent, reliant on her own strength, able to look after herself, but she had no power now.

He ignored her "This…connection. Since we met, the force pulls me towards you. Why you? Why some scavenger? I am from the Skywalker line, I am worth a thousand scavengers." He didn't seem to be asking her anything, more speaking to himself than anything. Rey did not know how this situation would end, in all honesty she didn't want to think about it.

She feared his touch. She did not know what it meant. The only relationships she had ever known were those of family and friendship, and both were very short-lived, as Luke hadn't been her father for over a decade, and her new friends were both in comas.

"What do you want from me?" she asked, her voice calm but her mind a storm. She hoped if she removed emotion from their interaction it would remove the fear she felt.

"I don't know" he replied, and she heard the truth in his voice. However, it did not bring her any comfort as it just caused more uncertainty.

"What do you want with Luke? He told me what happened, he told me what you did. You could have killed him when you killed the younglings but you didn't – why?"

He seemed surprised that Luke had told her that much and narrowed his eyes at her, but let it go "It was the force. I felt it in my bones, it was not his time to die."

"Well why do you want him now? Is it his time?" Despite her anger at her father, she didn't want him to die. The little girl inside her couldn't bear to see her daddy hurt.

He seemed conflicted, and it took him a moment to answer "I don't know if it his time. My leader Snoke has instructed me to find him. My master wishes to know the location of Luke's daughter, my cousin."

It took everything in her not to react to that statement. Her blood ran cold and her mind went into overdrive. She began to panic as she had not responded and Ren had noticed it.

"You know where she is, don't you?" he said, recognition dawning in his eyes, and he suddenly jabbed into her mind, causing her to cry out in pain.

She couldn't let him know. She didn't know what Snoke wanted her for, but she knew it wasn't good. Calling on the force, she gave her everything, tears leaking out of her eyes as she fought to keep him out.

Their minds battled for several minutes, and she struggled not to cry out, as he mercilessly invaded her thoughts, with no care for her pain.

Finally he gave up, his eyes blistering with anger "I will not fail my Master again. TELL ME!"

His grip on her wrists grew painful, as did his grip on her face, causing her to whimper. Rey attempted to buck him off, but he pressed into her body. She could feel every inch of him.

A moment later, however, his grip on her face grew soft again. Despite less pain, this made her grow more afraid. She felt the mood change to one she could not understand.

"Do you think he'll let me keep you?" he said softly, and her eyes widened as his lips descended harshly upon her own.

She struggled as his free hand trailed down her body, stroking the skin of her hip as it peaked out from underneath her top.

 _This is wrong._

He was too strong physically for her, he had years of training where she had only an hour. He feared what she could become but for now, he had advantage and she could not stop him.

He moaned into her mouth, moving his mouth to kiss her neck. Sensations she had never felt before flooded her, and Rey found it hard to think clearly.

"Please stop!" she shouted. But her protestation went unheeded. She had at first thought he was distracting her so as to enter her mind more easily, but she had felt no attempt so far, which filled her with dread.

 _He wants to keep me._ What would that entail? She had to get away, but the only thing that would allow her was the truth. But what would the truth cost her? She knew there was a tracked on the Falcon, and that it was still intact despite the damage. Eventually the Resistance would arrive, and they might be able to save her from him. She hated the fact that she would have to be saved, as she had always saved herself, but she had no choice. Now she prayed to be saved. Could she keep her secret in time for the resistance to arrive?

His hand was edging up her top, and her panic rose to boiling point. What was he doing to her? She thrashed even more, trying to get away from him. He chuckled, and ground against her, a jolt suddenly going through her.

 _This is wrong this is wrong this is wrong._

It didn't feel bad, in fact it felt good. His lips were soft against hers, and she his hard body against hers filled her with what she could only describe as pleasure.

But it was against her will. He was not listening to her. He was her _cousin._

 _This has to stop. He has to know._ The thought shook her to the core, but she knew she had to do it.

"Stop! STOP! I'm your cousin, please stop, it's me!" she shouted turning away from his face as he had moved to kiss her mouth once again.

He froze, his hand, warm, still pressed against her ribcage.

"You, you're my cousin," he said robotically. She nodded frantically, watching his face, waiting for the horror of realisation to come over it.

But it never came.

"Her name wasn't Rey. It was Padme." He said quietly, his eyes intense on hers.

"I changed it. I didn't want to be Padme anymore. Padme was weak, but Rey would be strong."

This was true. After months of tears and sadness, Padme had finally found decent materials during a scavenging trip. Lying on top of the cache was a rebellion helmet, with the name 'Raeh' on it. It was the first night in months she didn't go hungry, where she didn't cry herself to sleep. She became Rey as a way of making herself strong. She was shocked when Luke addressed her as Rey, despite knowing her as Padme, respecting her choice of rename, as had Leia.

Ren had still not reacted to this news, he not shifted from his position on top of her. They stared at each other in silence.

Before either could break the moment, she heard shouts, and turned her head to see resistance fighters running towards them.

He stared down at her and huffed. He would not be able to take her is she resisted, especially as he was so outnumbered and even if he knocked her out. She resisted the urge to smile as he quickly rolled away from her, grabbing his lightsabre from the ground – leaving hers – and running away in the opposite direction of the Stormtroopers, where she assumed his own ship was waiting.

"Rey! Are you okay?" A female commander called Ameera called her name and she pulled herself up.

"I'm fine, but Poe isn't! The first order have him!" she said, urgency deep in her voice.

"No miss, he's fine. We intercepted the Stormtrooper party heading towards the ship and managed to recover him. His is in critical condition, but the medi-droids say he should recover.

She was safe. Poe was safe. But now Ren knew who she was. She really wasn't looking forward to telling that to Luke.

 **Well, there it is! I made it a really long one to say sorry for taking ages to update. As you can see this relationship is going to be a complicated one, and I have officially become Reylo trash 3 Sorry if this was slightly triggering, but I wanted to show how messed up Ren is. I don't know if he is redeemable, and Rey will fight how she feels for him with all she can. Also, sorry for all the spelling mistakes, I am tired and will fix them at a later point.**


	6. Chapter 6 - Explanations

**Chapter Six**

 **Disclaimer – I don't own Star Wars**

Rey kept her eyes fixed on the scuffed table top, avoiding their eyes. She could feel their disappointment in the air and it was beginning to suffocate her, she just wanted to get out of the room.

They were waiting for her to explain herself, explain what had happened, but that was the last thing she wanted to do. She had lived in a multi-species community almost her whole life, so she had seen how relationships worked for many different races. She knew enough about human culture to know what had happened between Kylo and herself was wrong, despite having little experience of inter-human relationships up until now.

"Well? What happened? Poe is passed out, we only just came in time to save you both. The least you can do is tell us what occurred between the two of you." Leia's voice was hard, and Rey winced when she spoke of Poe.

After taking a deep breath, she looked up at her father and aunt. Their faces were stone, and Rey wanted nothing more than to look away.

"Ok, well, Poe and I decided we wanted to help those poor people, and you said the Falcon was mine and I could do what I wanted with it, so we decided to leave," Leia looked severely unimpressed with this statement.

"Yes, and?" Luke prompted after she lapsed into silence.

"Um, we got to the planet, managed to take out most of the Stormtroopers, but the Falcon was damaged and the fuel was leaking so I had to fly us to a safe place before the engine cut out mid-air and killed us both. We thought we would be ok until the resistance came and got us, but Ren got there first. He tried to kill Poe, but only knocked him out, and got the Stormtroopers to drag Poe away, and to leave us alone."

She stopped again. Rey really wasn't sure what to say. This was her aunt, Ren's mother. If they weren't related it would be uncomfortable, but they were so it was excruciating.

"Rey, just spit it out" Leia snapped, her patience worn thin in annoyance.

"He, uh, managed to subdue me and tried to get inside my mind. I asked him why he wants Luke, and he said that it was so Snoke could find out the location of Luke's daughter."

The air went cold then, as Luke and Leia's angry faces changed to those of fear.

"You said he tried to get inside your mind, I assume this means he failed? That he doesn't know who you are?" Luke said urgently, his eyes searching her face with concern.

The silence that followed told them all they needed to know.

"How? How did he find out?" Leia asked.

Closing her eyes, Rey forced out "He… he was touching me, kissing me. I just wanted him to stop. We're cousins! I know it was stupid, but I couldn't stand him touching me like that when he didn't know we were related!"

Both Luke and Leia reeled back once they heard her explanation. Rey stared down at the table again, feeling disgusted with herself.

Leia cleared her throat awkwardly, "Did… Did he stop once you told him?"

Rey's head shot up in alarm. She hadn't thought about that. Although he had stopped kissing her, he hadn't given her more space, he remained pressed against her in the most intimate way. Even though she had told him who she was, he still held her possessively.

"He stopped kissing me, but he says he feels a connection between us, that the force is calling him to me. He said that he wanted to 'keep' me, before I told him"

Both Luke and Leia looked very disturbed by this. They didn't speak much more after that, and Rey was allowed to retreat to her rooms. On her way, however, she decided to check on Poe and Finn. She felt ashamed for the state they were both in. It was all her fault. She never really cried anymore about herself, but she couldn't stand the pain of others. It cut her to her core.

Walking into Finn's room, she found that Poe had been placed in the same room as him, their beds right next to each other. Smiling at the sight, she kissed Finn's head, before retreating to a chair at the back of the room. Although she only planned to sit for a minute, almost instantly she fell asleep, and the last thing she saw was her two boys.

Darkness. Running. Running. Running away. Or was it towards? She couldn't tell. A voice called her name, but she couldn't open her mouth to respond. She could hear the little girl screaming for someone not to leave her, and a man in a beige cloak walked away into the blinding light. She saw Kylo Ren coming towards her, and so she ran after the man in the cloak. She screamed for him not to leave her. He turned and she saw her father, before he disappeared, and hands grabbed her from behind pulling her away from the light and into the darkness

Chest heaving she awoke, her hands shaking as she took in her surroundings. She was safe. She was in the shabby resistance camp, Poe and Finn sleeping in beds across from her.

It took Rey several minutes to calm down, to reassure herself that it had all been a dream. But dreams meant something different to her now, ever since she had touched the lightsabre. The fight she saw in her vision came true, so what if this could too? She didn't fully understand the force, what its powers entailed. She would have to talk to her father about it, maybe he'd experienced visions before as well?

A large part of her wanted to act like the rebellious teenager she was never allowed to be. To act out and refuse to train with him. But that wasn't her. So many times on Jakku she had wanted to just give up, but a purpose had driven her. That purpose had now changed. She was no longer waiting for her family because her family never came back. She had moved forwards and found her family herself, and so no matter what the result was (AKA realising that she no longer classed Luke as her father) she would have to find a new purpose – serving the resistance, becoming separate from herself. To do that, she would HAVE to train, and so she pushed childish thoughts behind her, and focused on the path ahead.

In all honesty, she hadn't done a very good job so far. She had disobeyed Leia, her general, and had gotten the most important pilot in the resistance injured.

Ren had said that Poe was force sensitive. Thinking on it now, it made a lot of sense – according to Luke during their disastrous first training 'session', being in tune with the force meant sensing what hadn't happened yet and reacting to it. This meant that those who were force sensitive had fast reflexes, which accounted for Poe's ability to hit almost everything he aimed for. She would have to tell Luke about this, so he could train Poe as well.

As she dwelt upon Poe's potential powers and abilities, Rey heard a groan from across the room. Quickly looking up, she saw Poe's face scrunched up in discomfort as he attempted to sit up and climb out of the bed.

"Poe!" she cried, jumping from her cramped position on her chair and rushing across the room.

"Rey! You're okay! What happened?" he mumbled, his eyes squinting as he got used to the clinical light of the room.

"The resistance saved us, just in time too! You're in Finn's room, Ren tried to kill you but apparently you're strong with the force so he failed. I'm so sorry Poe, this is all my fault! I was the one who wanted to leave, if we hadn't then you wouldn't be hurt!"

"Come on sweetheart, I wanted to go just as much as you did. There is no blame here – we saved lives, maybe it was stupid to go but we did something good. What happened between you and Ren? The way he was looking at you made me wanna kill him, well more than usual," he smiled wryly, taking in her reaction, only to find her barely restraining a grimace. "Rey? What did he do?" he said in concern, sitting up straighter and taking her hands.

She considered not telling him, but somehow she felt she could trust him. The way Finn had spoken about him, and the good man he was told her she could tell him anything.

"He tried to force himself on me. And I couldn't stop him. It makes me so angry, that I had no strength against him, that I couldn't even lift a finger against him. And… he's my cousin. He was touching me like that and we're related." Rey waited for shock to come over his face at the word 'cousin', but nothing changed. "Wait, you know that he's my cousin? How?"

"Well, when you guys arrived, it caused a bit of a scene. The shouting was so loud that it didn't take long for everyone to figure it out and spread it around. No one cares though, you, Luke and Leia have done so much for the cause that it doesn't matter who you're related to."

"Well so much for keeping it a secret. I guess that even if I hadn't told him, he would have found out eventually if he got hold of a resistance member. It just makes my skin crawl thinking about it! Of course my first kiss happens in the worst possible way," Rey sighed, pulling at the bandages on her arms.

"I could tell, the way he was staring at you. It made me afraid for you. You aren't the only one who feels powerless against him, all he had to do was wave his hand and I was on the floor. I wish I could protect you better," he replied, pulling her into a hug.

Rey let his warmth surround her. She didn't want anyone to protect her, she wanted to be able to protect herself, like she always had done on Jakku. But she wasn't there anymore, she had friends. People who could support her and who she could support. It was hard to accept that sometimes strength could be found in others.

Unfortunately facing the threat of Kylo Ren wasn't one of those times, she either had to grow stronger or lose her strength completely.

 **Thanks for reading! Sorry this was a filler chapter, but it can't be action all the time! I'm still not quite sure where the Reylo relationship will go, due to the fact that Kylo is so far gone at this point, and Rey doesn't know how to process romantic relationships. At this point, she can only see it from the perspective of 'it's wrong – we're cousins', and is ignoring how she feels, the connection they have. However, this is not a story of redemption, it's pretty dark. Most of all it's about Rey, and her role in the force, TBH I'm getting kind of side-tracked by this relationship.**

 **I am so sorry for taking so long to update, but I'm hoping to update in the next couple of days.**

 **Thank you to those who have reviewed (guest and Azera-v) I really appreciate it!**

 **Please review, it brightens my day completely, and helps me think about how to write the characters, so even if it's a criticism I would love to hear back from you guys!**

 **Lots of love! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	7. Chapter 7 - Explorations

**Chapter Seven**

 **Disclaimer – I don't own Star Wars**

It was a new day. Time for her to move on and start on her new life. She probably wouldn't see Kylo Ren for a long time – to her relief – as Leia had banned her from going on missions for the immediate future.

Not being able to go on missions probably wasn't a bad thing though. She thought back on her actions and cringed. She had almost gotten captured, almost gotten Poe killed because of her arrogance. She kept on being told she was strong in the force, but she was untrained. She needed to know what she was doing, otherwise who knows who she would get hurt.

Rey willed herself to get out of bed. It was so comfy, nothing at all like the hard surface she had to sleep on in Jakku, with only a threadbare blanket to keep the cold of the desert at night from seeping into her bones.

Poe had been moved back into the resistance living quarters from the medical station. She was so glad, because it meant he wasn't too badly injured. Finn had already been injured protecting her, and had yet to wake up – she couldn't stand it if Poe suffered the same fate for her.

He was force sensitive – did that mean Luke would train him too? She certainly hoped so, as it meant less attention on her. She still didn't know what their interactions would be like, how he would speak to her – as a father? Or a trainer? She fervently hoped the latter. She couldn't stand lying, and that's exactly what he would do if he pretended that he actually cared about her.

Luke went on and on about inner peace, and she tried to find it as she felt her anger – or was it sadness? – begin to build. She knew it worked, she wouldn't have been able to defeat Kylo Ren on starkiller base otherwise.

She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, separating her mind from her body. During the lonely nights on Jakku she did this too, desperate to sleep, but she always felt like she was searching for something, something beyond the physical, but could never find it, never even knew what it was she was searching for. She knew now – the Force.

She felt it, at first the reaching of her mind brushed it tentatively, afraid, but she soon realised that it was all around – it was a part of her. Despite her serene face, she felt her heart beating faster and faster, as she felt the power of the force flowing through her.

Time was nothing. Space was nothing. All things around her faded away, her troubles and fears dissolved, as her mind tried and failed to understand the power of the force, only able to show her colours, some she had never seen before.

It was too much. It was too soon. The part of her that was still Rey tried to pull away, but she found she couldn't. She was in a trap of her own making. The greatest thing she had was freedom – freedom to choose, freedom to make her own decisions about where she went and when she went. But she had accidentally thrown it away.

In desperation, she called _Luke! Luke, please help me!_

Rey received no response, and resumed her thrashing inside her own mind. She wasn't sure how long she did it for, but she suddenly realised there was another presence inside her mind.

 _Rey_ , he felt like regret, like sadness _Rey, I need you to calm down. That is the only way you can get out. You have to be strong and do it yourself._

Do it herself? Be strong? Those weren't hard things to do, she'd had to do both her entire life. Calming down was the difficult part, especially around Luke. But on Jakku, she had always found a way, and she was the same person, no matter how different she felt.

What calmed her down? She had always felt calm when she scavenged. She often had needed to, as many of the things she searched for were surrounded by volatile parts with a tendency to explode if handled wrong. She thought of a T5-808GH Radiation filter. How she had to use the upmost concentration, and not allow her hands to shake as she removed it, otherwise there would be nothing of her left. Gentle turns and small movements, that's how it was done. There was no room for a mistake, and she generally didn't make them where it mattered.

Rey felt herself calming down as she deconstructed machinery in her mind. Realising she was safe, she opened her eyes, and found herself looking into her fathers. Wiping her cheeks and her nose, she found they came away red and she gasped, looking up to her father for answers like she had when she was a child.

"You went deep into the force – too deep. To a place that the mind cannot handle. Only certain species of Jedi Master according to my readings were able to do such a thing. You have to be careful, you must always stay calm or else you might not be able to get out next time." His eyes were solemn, and he reached out to brush a tear from her cheek but she jerked away, and he slowly pulled his hand back again.

"It was pulling me in. I started out calm, but I just grew more and more panicked – I couldn't help it!" she said, trying to control her shuddering breaths "it's so powerful, and I couldn't leave once I was in its control"

"Rey," he said, slowly "The difference between non-force sensitives and force sensitives is that we DO have control of it. All those who don't are moved along with no control over how it does so. You have the power to control the force."

She frowned at this "But I didn't, it was stronger than me, more powerful than anything – more than you, more than," she cleared her throat "more than Kylo Ren. It was when I lost control, when I got angry. That's when it truly showed me how powerful it was. Lots of the species in Jakku had Gods, is the force a god?"

"Yes and no," Luke said, slowly, considering his words "The force does not care who you are, what you have been through. Master Yoda once told me that the force's main intention is movement. To keep the world moving, but at a balance."

"Between the light and dark side?" she asked, finally calming down.

"I assume so," Luke replied, "There will always be darkness"

Rey thought back to her earlier troubles with his teachings, her misgivings "If there is supposed to be balance, why must it be polarized? Why does there have to exist a light side and a dark? Why can't it be both? I have never met someone completely good or completely evil. How would it even be possible for the old Jedi to live completely light lives?"

"That is what I have been trying to figure out. I have tried to live the Jedi way, to live like them. It is very hard, and it makes me question every single choice I make."

A dark part of Rey thinks that he failed before he began – how could he think he could be light if he abandoned a child? But she decides not to voice that.

"Kylo Ren, he wants to be like Vader," she swallows deeply "like grandfather. When I looked into his mind I saw a struggle. He wants to be dark so much. It hurts him. But he cannot stamp out the light." She stops for a moment "Well, he couldn't until he murdered his own father."

Luke is staring at her, his eyes watery but he says nothing, before he pulls himself off the floor – which Rey now realises he was kneeling on while she is still tangled up in her sheets. Without a word he leaves the room, and Rey tries to figure out what it was that upset him.

Rey remembers what she said to Kylo Ren _you're afraid. That you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!_ She tries to recall what she knows about Darth Vader. He completely destroyed the Jedi order, killing children in his quest for power. She supposed in that way, Kylo WAS like Vader. They both dismantled an entire order, and killed those they called family. But Vader changed, he saved his son and killed the emperor. She remembered the story like it was yesterday, as she always asked for it at bedtime. But that was a lifetime ago. Vader had good in him, does Kylo Ren still have it? Does she even care after what he did?

 **I am so sorry about the post yesterday! Have been away for so long with exam and essay stress at Uni, I forgot to check what chapters I had actually posted! Here is an early chapter to say sorry! The apology may continue to tonight if I have time to write another chapter!**

 **So sorry again guys!**  
 **Lots of Love!**

 **P.S. Also sorry for bringing God stuff into it (eww) but don't worry, it's not gonna get religious, I was just thinking it would be cool if the force could be like the Aristotelian Prime Mover, so nothings gonna get crazy.**


	8. Chapter 8 - Mirage

**I'm so sorry for the long wait – been a difficult year. Just seen Rogue one so it's got my Star Wars mania going again. What did you guys think of it? Won't spoil anything** **J**

It had been a month since her failed mission to Brinaun with Poe, and things were finally beginning to become normal again – well, as normal as a whole new life could be.

She and Luke had settled into an awkward routine. For 8 hours a day they would train; meditation, sparring, mind tricks. All of it.

She was excelling beyond his expectations, learning everything she was told within a day, a neglected prodigy soaking up knowledge from her teacher – it was…unnatural. Unnatural talent.

However, there was one aspect of her Jedi training she disappointed him in. After decades of cobbling together lessons from masters who died too soon, force ghosts and the Old Republic records, Luke had strung together a fighting form that matched him completely. Defensive, non-aggressive, with the intention to disarm, not harm. The way he wielded his blade was an extension of himself.

Rey, on the other hand – and despite his constant berating and hours of meditation to find serenity - could not fight this way. The adrenalin pumped through her veins during their sparring sessions, as it had in her fight with Kylo-Ren, erasing the calm she tried so hard to build.

A part of her, a large part, deep down, told her to fight – and win.

Where Luke swung his lightsabre in graceful strikes, she stabbed. He drove her back and she pushed forward. He sought to neutralize and she to **hurt**.

Every day he grew more frustrated with her, he could not understand why she would not listen.

And she grew more and more frustrated with him, everyday falling into deeper anger as he failed to understand her.

Afraid to meditate after her first attempt, she thought over her battle with Kylo Ren. He and Luke fought so similarly. Where she jumped and flipped they remained steady, a constant force against her tricks. Had Kylo felt the way she did? So misunderstood it brought him to tears? Of course no-one saw them, she wouldn't let Luke see her cry again.

But comparing herself to Kylo Ren…. She wouldn't go down that road. She was nothing like him. She could never do what he did.

Finn had begun to wake, every few days he would have moments of consciousness, before settling back into sleep. The med-bots told her it was a good sign, so she held onto her hope for him a little longer.

She and Poe had settled into a strong friendship. Easy-going and inherently _good_ he brought light to every room he entered. He blinded her sometimes. They were together in their fear for Finn, and fear of Kylo Ren. Fear only brought them closer.

She had told Luke about Poe's sensitivity to the force, but he brushed her away. He said he only wanted one apprentice, rather than many after what had happened with the Knights of Ren. Rey believed he just wanted to limit the fallout, but it annoyed her – if Poe could wield some powers, to protect himself and support the rebellion, shouldn't he be able to learn? Apparently not, and it became another source of contention between them.

So, she had begun to secretly train Poe in the small ways she could, despite Luke telling her specifically not to. It was a very slow process, which in a way Rey found relieving. The only time she could meet with Poe was after her training, and by that point she was completely wrecked. They were still practising meditation, which Rey found a lot easier without Luke breathing down her neck telling her to calm down.

Luke didn't seem to understand that she didn't like being touched. He was always trying to touch her, connect with her in some way. But it felt wrong, foreign. His flesh was as alien to her as his metal hand. Sometimes, when she truly wanted it, or was prepared, it was nice to be touched. When she was upset, and needed a friendly hug from Poe. Leia's hand gently squeezing hers in support. But they were the exceptions.

Brought up in a world where water was scarce, as was affection, and she was starved of it, thirsty for something she had been dreaming of. Her image of her family was just a mirage in the distance, and now she had finally reached it, she found it was poisoned. She would not drink.

Poe understood. Knew not to touch her if she wasn't ready, and knew to give her warning when he was about to. Apart from Finn and BB8, both of whom weren't exactly normal, she had never had a friend before, and it was hard work.

Living in a harsh world made you harsh. Language sharp and meant to harm, to guard territory, to protect herself, was made redundant. She would sometimes say something completely normal in the world of Jakku and look up to see Poe's shocked face. Face on fire, she tried to keep the shame away, but it was so hard to there on the base.

Manners buried way down deep wouldn't resurface, and the girl who had always had to lick the last of her food off her plate to survive was now in a world of blue milk and cutlery. While she excelled at her training with Luke, she alienated the rest of the base. She was too different. A stranger. A scavenger.

She had been begging Leia to let her go on more missions. Leia had at first refused, but recently Rey had begun to feel her resolve wavering.

Yes, she was afraid of Kylo Ren, but she would not let her fear dominate her life. And so she pushed herself into her training. She wanted to make sure that the next time she saw him she would be ready to fight – however unlikely that would be.

The first time they fought she had been lucky – he was injured and emotionally compromised, it was no fair fight. With all her years fighting off other scavengers with her staff, she would not have been able to fight off a fully trained Sith. Sparring with Luke had certainly shown her that, and knocked her confidence and ego down quite a few pegs.

'Rey.'

She opened her eyes. She was starting to get to grips with solo meditation, and had been practicing in her tiny room. Looking up she saw the excited face of Poe, panting hard as if he had run to her.

'What? What is it?!' she cried, scrambling to her feet.

'It's Finn. He's awake – for real.'

 **There you have it. Sorry it's not great. I have big ideas for this story, but it's just trying to get to the main plot points that is difficult. I'll try not to start 2 more stories while I'm writing this (again) and then give up on them (again). This chapter is kinda filler and a bit of a recap. A return of the Jedi-esque training skip. Enjoy! Read and Review! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 3**


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